Your Kids Can Buy Semen Jewelry, But They Can’t Buy Whipped Cream Anymore

The Bridge: From Pink Sauce to Fart Jars to Jizzy Jewelry, there are some…unusual…wares available on the internet. Any kid with an iPad and a credit card could ostensibly buy bodily fluids from their favorite influencers – and it doesn’t appear that regulations are coming any time soon.


Strange Collectibles

It’s no secret that you once could find “used” panties sold at vending machines in Japan, so maybe it isn’t so unusual that there’s a market for…ahem…weird fluids on the internet. We saw last month that Pink Sauce went from viral TikTok goop to mass-produced gourmet condiment. There are some infamous influencers that sell their bathwater to adoring fans. One woman farts in jars and made more than $200,000 doing it (she wound up in the hospital due to her flatulence, though, so maybe it wasn’t the best business idea after all).

Selling weird 💩 on the ‘net is nothing new. Back in the olden days of Ebay, people sold haunted-not-haunted dolls, Virgin Mary grilled cheeses, and Britney Spears’s used gum. There are loose rules in place as to what sellers can sell and buyers can buy, but for the most part anything not illegal or dangerous is fair game.

But seriously, someone is making jewelry out of semen, and we’re starting to wonder what’s next. 🤮


Fiscal (and Physical) Responsibility 

By now, it seems that everyone has a story about the kid that got ahold of a credit card and racked up thousands of dollars in purchases. Most devices have a wallet feature nowadays, and with enough technical savvy, physical cash isn’t even necessary. Crypto can be acquired from anywhere, and a lot of vendors will take it.

Ostensibly this means that a box full of weirdness could arrive at your doorstep out of literal thin air.

It’s good to stay a step ahead when knowing the kinds of trends that are circulating online, and have pointed conversations about safety and scams with the young people in your life. Maybe discuss the finer points of food spoilage (in the case of Pink Sauce and other “edible” goods).

On that note, there’s been some confusion online about the regulations New York State has put in place regarding the sale of whipped cream cans. It seemed on the surface that the sale of the cans of delicious whipped topping would be banned from sale for anyone under 21. The regulating bureau had to send out an open letter clarifying their position – anyone under 21 is now barred from buying the chargers for whipped cream cans, not the dessert itself. This is what happens when regulations get out of control – guess the NY State Governor hasn’t heard of The Silk Road.

creamless // freepik x L. Aguayo

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